More things I have learnt from physio - mainly notes to self. I suspect hagar_972
may have useful experience here, where I'm just starting out on the same journey they've already been on.
Muscles in the thigh - VMO, lateralis, the big quad one, the sartorius one across, adductors on the inside, abductors on the outside. VMO needs extra strengthening due to hypermobility. The small stabilising muscles tend to give up, then the big muscles compensate, and that's why my hamstrings get tight all the time. Then the hip/bum ones like glute max and glute mede also need help, particularly the latter.
Making sure things activate in the right order is hard. If the lateralis activates before the VMO instead of at the same time, then my kneecap slides sideways and that's one of the reasons it hurts. Trying to activate the VMO first will retrain it so they both go at the same time.
So I've only been working on this fic, on and off, since the last HP movie
came out. Never say I don't eventually finish my beloved old WIPs.Geometry of the Impossible
, Remus/Sirius/James/Lily"I don't think Lily nor James would be very happy if I did his courting for him," Remus said. He saw that Sirius' face was fixed into blank patience, and had a flash of desire to snarl and go for Sirius' throat, because he might at least understand
that. "Look. There are comical farces written around your idea, and I'm not terribly keen on having Lily fall for me instead --"
Please enjoy 21k of Teenage Werewolf Disaster :DDD
This is inspired by a place by my work that does something similar, but with pear compote.
* Sharp white cheddar (mine came from CostCo, the Coastal stuff)
* Rosemary bread (mine came from Trader Joe's)
* Lemon curd (another thing from Trader Joe's)
* Butter (I did unsalted, the cheddar is plenty salty enough)
* Toaster Oven
* Frying pan and oven
* Lightly toast one side of the rosemary bread in the oven
* One one slice of rosemary bread, put a pile of chopped up white cheddar chunks on the toasted side. Put it back into the toaster oven until the cheese gets pretty melty.
* While that's going on, spread lemon curd on the other piece of bread, on the toasted side.
* Put a pat of butter in your frying pan and melt it
* Take your melted cheesy bread out of the toaster oven, put both pieces together so the cheese of one side is against the lemon curd of the other
* Put your sandwich into the pan, swish it around, flip it to the other side--this will make sure that both sides have butter as you pan toast.
* Toast both sides of your sandwich in the pan with the butter, flipping as necessary. When it's toasted to your liking, put it on a plate.
* Tada! Fancy grilled cheese.
I lost a very, very old friend over the weekend. The illness was sudden, acute, and ultimately fatal. In less than a week, she was gone.
We weren't so close that her material absence will affect me on a daily basis. I didn't see her often. But I respected her, and she had an effect on who I am today. Without her I would be a slightly different version of me, not the me I am.
My own grief and pain is still daily, and pressing. It's right and fair, it's proof I loved someone, and so it's not something I want to turn away from or bury. I cared about her, and I am reasonably sure she cared about me, but this is nowhere near as devastating to me as it is for others who knew her better, saw her more, loved her in ways that I did not. That hurts to see. All the pain I can't help alleviate in any real way.
So it hurts, yeah, and it is frightening to know that someone so young could die so suddenly -- she was DECADES away from a reasonable age to go. It's terrifying to watch this happen, knowing how helpless everyone was to stop it, seeing how it left everyone bereft, and how all of us, every one, is going to go through a version of this with someone they love.
That bit, the anxiety over the unavoidable future, is the part that's been hardest to cope with. I know how to grieve, and grief is not unhealthy. Anxiety doesn't help anyone.
So yeah, that's been a little rough.
I'm also doing some really hard work in therapy. Working on old trauma that is holding me back.
And I'm doing some medical stuff that has also been difficult -- I'm over one of the big humps, and things are going so fucking well with that I can hardly believe it, but it was really stressful going in, and there is more difficult stuff ahead of me. The goal of the therapy is to get me well enough to do it. I'm not looking forward to it, but it's a thing I'd like to have in the rearview, not the passenger seat. You know?
I am caught in the middle of a complicated and frightening life that is nevertheless very beautiful. I am doing well, I am doing poorly, I am doing everything at once, feeling everything at once. It's hard and it's easy, it's good and it's bad. It's all so unstable. All I know is that I don't care how fucked up everything is, I want to be here. I am happy to be here. This is a good place to be, even when it's terrible. I very much want to live. I am very glad to have a future again.
ETA: She was an organ donor, and that saved lives. I have registered to become one. I urge you to consider doing so as well, if you are able.
- Music:Sleeping At Last -- Emphasis