Apparently when you go to a therapist's office, say "I think I have ADD," describe your life and describe ADD by doing so, they don't necessarily make you fill out a questionnaire or anything!

that may have been the most productive hour of my entire life.

and now: to conquer other doctor's offices, especially when nobody answers the damn phone.

(and then to collect my Rue, and figure out some way to celebrate, I guess.)

today was supposed to be simple: school, then car insurance, then maybe DMV trip. all of this overwrote our invitation to see Hope, AJ and John and the girls, of course, along with writing off the barbecue, which I hope was delicious.

What was not delicious was the surpriez groupwork!!1 thrown at me in my last half-hour of class; I loathe group work. I never find it to be a good learning experience. I can use it as a teaching experience, maybe, but that only works if I want to teach at the time. I didn't. And this half-hour, which wasn't even all spent working (show of hands: who actually expected everyone to work straight through to the end of class? yeah, didn't think there were many), had me so supremely unbalanced and off-kilter that I did, in the end, call the teacher and tell her that I cannot be surprised by group work like that. I was very nearly crying at the time I was talking to her, actually, /TP*EURL /KREBLGT.

Fortunately, this school believes in being supportive the way very few other things do (corset companies and some bridge architects, maybe), and so she hastened to reassure me she would offer as much lead-in as she could, and I was always welcome to excuse myself from working in a group and find some other way of reviewing whatever it was we were supposed to review.

Unfortunately, while that helps in future, it didn't do anything to calm me the fuck down. And so I've been on or over the edge all afternoon, making poor Rue's life miserable (and probably her mother's, too). Meanwhile, Rue helped me get a good quote on car insurance this morning, and I can't actually apply for it yet because I don't know an answer about my parents' car insurance and I don't have the VIN for the truck. :|

I called my mother, and left a message, at something like... oh, just under seven hours ago, I'd guess.

More recently I called my father, to get his voice mail right away, and my mother, twice, to get her voicemail after delay and then again right away, and I also called twice to talk to Ben (the guy selling the truck) to find out when we were going to do the paperwork, since apparently it's not legal to sell the license plates along with the vehicle, and there's some pesky law about how your vehicle is supposed to have plates when you drive it around ...

Current projected monthly costs, for my records and if anyone's curious: $45.85/mo or $243 for six months for car insurance with Progressive; the DMV is going to have my ass a few times over, too, with a $20 use fee and a really unclear other charge for plates/registration ... I'm not sure how much because I have no idea what they class the truck's weight as. :|

I also don't know if I want to get commercial plates or passenger; the DMV does a better job of explaining the difference, which is mostly "in the long run, commercial plates are cheaper; in the short run, passenger plates let you stay on the parkways when you're downstate."

I'm just not sure which of those poses a bigger problem.

Other than that, and the fact that Dad and Mom and Ben have all still not called me back and I've been writing this off-and-on for about 45 minutes ... urrgh. I don't even know what to think.

I have no idea if I'm going to have this thing this weekend, although I need it. And I have ... well, far more of an idea, really, but in a negative light, about taking a Saturday trip to Ithaca. It would be fun; it would also be expensive, and I don't have food stamps outstanding in order to pay for my food without cash; I have never driven to Ithaca before in my life, although I think I may have been there once or twice; I should probably get used to the style of once-a-week-or-two stock-up grocery store trips anyway, before attempting to transfer food 300+ miles...

The Nissan is probably going to have fuel economy that is at least as good as the old New Yorker. That doesn't mean it's near as good as the Corolla, and all three of them are blown out of the water by a Prius... so I understand why they like going, and certainly the food that results is far and away the best quality I've met up here outside of, idk, Chez Sophie or whatever – as it goes, though, this Saturday's probably out for us after all.

And at ANY MOMENT, Rue could shake me awake on a Sunday and tell me that she's being judged and pinned to the examining board RIGHT NOW, and then I will flail a lot, try not to freak her out, and hope that she is her normal outstanding self, one of the best trauma assessors in the state (five stars! from the guy who designed the system!), and anyway just like every other time I've told her she'll do great, she'll prove me wrong by being OUTFUCKINGSTANDING instead.

So there.


Apologies for the disjointed nature of this post. I now return you to your regularly scheduled reading list.

so um apparently I haven't posted anywhere since last Sunday! I don't even remember what the hell I said last Sunday.

( week in review )

I woke up this morning in a flare, or at least in flare-like symptoms.

I have taken 200mg of tramadol in the last twelve hours alone. :|

In happier news, I got a DailyBooth. So far I haven't forgotten to take pictures.

Today we are somehow mysteriously combining a trip to Planned Parenthood so I can stop poisoning myself with estrogen as the lesser of two evils, possibly a massage so that on Friday I will have enough logs to turn in, and dinner with invisionary, passerine and esteleth. I believe Rue is also making cookies, although that might end up changing if her health doesn't get better than mine.

edit: and I forgot that she was taking some part of a shift today, too, so I really have no idea when anything's happening but that might put the massage off until tomorrow.

( school complaints )

I really love having a Dreamwidth account, and have a tendency to keep up on my read list a lot more thoroughly than I do my LJ flist. At the same time, I really wish I had more people here, or more people who would update more frequently. I always end up very sad when the only thing on my read list in the morning is people's automatic Twitter posts from the night before – not because I hate Twitter, although I drastically cut my follow list on Twitter last night as I was spending way too much time looking at it and I don't have a cell phone now anyway, but just because... there's a level of carelessness to a Twitter aggregate that isn't usually there, in an actual crafted post.

Write moar!

(I feel as though I should have brought crochet or knitting to class today. I would feel productive, which is important because I really, really can't comprehend anything that's being said out loud today.)

It is really just amazing how noisy a class of about forty people can be when they try. :|

Brachialis has been the most popular muscle so far today; I don't know when everyone else is supposed to present them, since only ... not even a quarter of the class has gone so far. Maybe on Monday, I don't know.

The midterm is next Tuesday, and is worth 30% of the grade in the class. There are 60 multi-choice questions which I will probably not fail, 10-12 fill-ins which I probably will due to stress and fog, 10-15 diagram items which will probably count as fill-in and also fail, and four application questions worth four times as many points each.

We are not done for the day, once done with the test; there's only being done until 11:20, and then spending ... most of an hour, apparently, going over the test afterwards, and a meditation to calm down everyone who has given themselves conniptions over the test.

Today I realized, in trying to draw pterygoids and temporalis muscles on the diagram provided, that the diagram was a piece of shit. The skull was entirely cartoonish instead of being anatomically relevant, and I don't know about you but I'm pretty sure that I won't ever be able to learn the placement of a muscle in reality if I have only memorized its place on Elmer Fudd. (For example.)

Apparently this means I need to spend a fair amount of time with a copier and papercrafting supplies, in order to fix this.